Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never say goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Eveyday i sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For i am here with you
Though you're far away
I'm still here to stay

You are not alone
i am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
You are not alone

Alone, alone
Why, alone

Just the other night
i thought i hear you cry
Asking me to come
and hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens i will bear
But first i need your hand
Then forever can begin

Everyday i sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
For i am here with you
Though you're far apart
I'm still here to stay

For you are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
You are not alone

Whisper three words
And i'll come running
And i, girl you know that i'll be there
i'll be there

You are not alone
I am here with you
Though you're far apart
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone
(you are not alone)
For i am here with you
(i am here with you)
Though you're far away
(Though you're far away)
(You and me)
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
Not alone, Oh
(Alone)
You are not alone
You are not alone
Say it again
You are not alone
You are not alone
Not alone
Not alone
If you reach out for me, girl
In the morning
In the evening
Not alone
Not alone
You and me
Not alone, Oh
Together
Together

Labels: i miss you so much.. waiting for this thur.. i miss you darling

today is the 6th day since deardear left...
feeling kinda wierd...
i feel vvv bored...
listless... i dun like it at all..
thnx to vanessa bestie this few days..
just having some small chat ya..
but i really need deardear back with me by my side..
i miss you loads.. darling..

Labels: miss you every seconds..

life feels so wierd without you...
cant wait to c u back in singapore..
i love you loads:DD

Labels: miss you every seconds..

'O' LVLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Dear blog,

this few days, she finally gave me her all.. i feel very happy..
very happy.. i feel that there is need not to worry about my prb..
i lyk the way we are right now.. i tried to tell her abt my prb.. bt seeing how happy is she right now i did not bear to say it out.. i did not mean to hode from her.. i just dun wan her to blame herself.. hahas.
but.. everything was fine until yesterday night..
everything went wrong..
it seems to be a nightmare.. and it last till this morning...
everyting was my fault...
its all my fault.. im really sorry..
i couldnt sleep.. i tried calling her many times..
i message her many times..
at 12.. i cycle to her house.. i feel really bad..
and needed to c her..
after that i cycle to simei.. loyang point.. tampines mart.. tampines stadium.. her new house.. giant.. elias.. dte.. park.. whitesand..
i tried to stop tinking of it.. and punish myself...
i couldnt jus stop tinking.. kept looking at my fone hoping she would reply..
cycle from 12am to 5am then i go home..
sit on my bed waiting for her msg..
she finally msg.. bt it broke my heart...
bt i cant blame her.. bcos is i who break her heart first..
i really need her.. i cant lose her.. i regret and hate myslef alot...
from now on.. i will make my presence unnoticable..
in fact.. im fated to do everything on my own...
im not really much important to anyone..
no one ever miss me..
everyone wants to escape from me..
im already happy that she did not break with me..
i will never repeat the same mistake again..
be happy my dear..
i will never leave you, sebrina..
whether she still believes me or not..
my love for you will never change..
and i will keep all my promises...
Now is 11.18 am.. im very tired le..
yesterday jog swim bring her home and cycle..
did not sleep at all.. should go catch some..
though i cant sleep now..
my heart is really aching and tired..
having fever..hais...

Labels: im really sorry..

Dear blog,
went for my checkup today..
got a negative report from the doctor..
reason for dry skin.. headache..
and lost of vision awhile is due to my heart failing..
i need immediate operation.. if gets worse..
doc: Good morning.. where's daddy and mummy??
boy: busy(faint smile)
doc: ready for your checkup.. it will be x-ray and ecg check today..
{After the checkup}
doc: omy, what have you been doing Theophilus.. lately.. u got to be honest for me to diagnoise the right thing... ur x-ray and the ecg checkup is not showing good results.. the ecg shows a unstable heartbeat..
boy: er.. i stay up late.. studying for my exams..
doc: how much sleep did you get..?
boy: honestly.. 1-2 hrs a day..
doc: okay.. any other reason that you are not saying out..
boy: nope..
doc: in that case you have to take good care of yourself.. your condition now is really bad.. realise that the pain you having now is very sharp.. and frequent.. you really got to take care of yourself.. the chip in your left chest has penetrate deeper.. an immediate operation is needed actually.. but lets c how u doing in your next appointment. let ur dad and mum know.. drink more water and i prescribe you with the same medicine again. take it when needed.. Its also best that you have someone with you when you are out.. your body is fragile..
boy: okay(weak smile)
doc: go to counter 21 for your medicine and counter 27 for payment. take care bye.
boy: bye

im really scared... i have no one to confide to..
i wanted to tell someone but i couldn't..
i did not want to hide from her.. or to those who care for me...
i dont want you to worry for me..
reason why i did not want sebrina to know is because she will tink that its all her fault..
i dun wan her to tink dat way..
i feel veryfrighten in me...
my fear is getting over me..
what should i do..
my heart is getting tired each day..
i just want to put a strong front..
so that others wont worry for me..

Labels: my body is failing me..

i really just feel very useless..
i just cant do anything to make you happy..
it hurts alot..
sorry darling...
its always my fault...
im really sorry..
i love you loads..
dear.. i really wish time can just stop at the happy moments with you..
i miss you so much each time..
i hate myself ..
i feel so tired...
i feel so depressed..
i want you to be happy..

Labels: i live to love you darling.